PIEPER ERIN - THE AUTHOR

Howdy folks...I've been pretty busy editing mom's material...she works so hard, you know, that every way I can help her, I do...like last night...I "quietly" walked over her about five times. I wait until I hear her breathing slow and become regular. Then, I delicately jump from one side of her to the other...oh, but I have to take a step in between cause I'm not as limber as I once was. He he.

Anyway, check out her two new articles at E-How. And have a safe weekend!
http://www.ehow.com/members/piepererin-articles.html

PieperErin the Author

Pieper here...well, it was bound to happen. Mom has decided to take all that extra time (yeah, right) and start her article writing career at E-HOW! Her first article, "How to Care for Your Aging Cat" is now pending approval. I'm sure she wasn't talking about 13-year-old moi!

Anyway, wait a few and then jaunt on over (or whatever it is you humans do to hurry) to E-How and look up Mom: PieperErin.

Oh, and I allowed her to use my name as her pen name...after all, I do most of the writing in this family anyway...he he...

I Thought I Was Going to Die!

Hi, there, Pieper here again...mommy is doing laundry, so I'm gonna tell you my tail of terror! Okay, so maybe I'm being somewhat of a drama princess, but really!

I had to go to the vet! I hate leaving my house! I hate my carrier! And at the moment, I wasn't too happy with mommy either! Why?

She left me overnight! Can you imagine? They did bloodwork in the afternoon and then some big machine came down on my little body and made this really weird sound -- the nurse was wearing an apron...I thought it was so I wouldn't scratch her...later I found out it was so they could look at my innards - x-rays I think I overheard Denise say (that was the nurse's name).

Then I got to stay in a nice, cozy little cubicle and watch all the other animals parade by...I really had to laugh at that big old German Shepherd - shaking like a leaf! So cool! Anyway, I digress.

The next morning, Denise came and got me again...I didn't really feel anything for quite a while, but boy! when I woke up my jaw was numb! And my tongue and my tonsils. Unbelievable! The room was spinning a little, so I closed my eyes. Next thing you know, my mommy was there to pick me up.

As soon as we got home, my jaw started tingling and felt really strange...I pawed at it and pawed at it. Finally, after about fifteen minutes I could feel my jaw again and guess what? I was missing two teefers!

Well, I am healed now and happy to be home. So, even thought I don't want to repeat that episode anytime soon, I am glad to be healthy and vibrant - at 13 years, you just can't beat it!

Ut oh...here comes mom...she'll get after me if she sees me on the computer again...the vet said the most interesting thing to her: "Mom, your cat appears to have carpal tunnel...very unusual in a cat...does she play the piano?" I just chuckled.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL???

PIEPER'S QUOTE OF THE DAY: "A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend." (Robert J. Vogel)

While our Rockies are doing fabulous, I'm actually having a little trouble (for a change) getting into the mood for football! Tonight is our first game, new coach, new era and I should be excited, but...rather blah.

Pieper, the silly little girl, is resting up so she can watch tonight. She has a vet appointment on Monday and I'm sure she'll just have lots to tell you then about her indignities!

I survived the latest layoffs, but the rest of the year is going to be tough as the "business model" will be changing, probably on a day-to-day basis; new hours, new days, new shifts...

In the meantime, I am studying at the Wealthy Affiliate University, learning to be a productive, successful affiliate marketer. The first eight-week course is an eye-opener, lots of work, but a focus that I enjoy, especially given the economic circumstances surrounding our country and my employer.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend. Pieper will be back next week to tell you about her vet visits and some of the interesting pet facts I'm sure she'll learn.

PIEPER, the Senior Cat - Pffffttttt!

“Whatever poet, orator, or sage may say of it, old age is still old age.” Sinclair Lewis

Hi friends, Pieper here. Mom is in the laundry room, so I thought I’d sit my fuzzy bottom right here at the computer and tell you what happened to me!

The vet called me a SENIOR CAT!!! And worse yet, Mom agreed with her!!! I’ve rarely been this insulted, let me tell you!

I’m a proud 13 and one-half years old, almost to the day (supposedly 68 in human years). Sure, I sleep a lot, but my baby cat manual said that was what we cats do 90 percent of the time anyway! Why should I change now??? Pfffttt…

The vet actually gave her a book about “Celebrating Seniors!” This happy flap book told Mom that the most common senior diseases in animals (dogs AND cats) were:

Dental problems
Liver disease
Kidney disease
Heart and lung disease
Joint problems
Endocrine system problems (like diabetes)
Cancer
Ocular (eyes to you, and what the heck, we use them twice as much as humans – better at night even! Pfffttt!
Gastrointestinal

Great, so NOW I have to go back in and have a total workup: baseline blood work (I don’t think I like the thought of THAT much, unless the vet is going to squeeze it out of my toenail or something), identify existing health problems by doing x-rays, hormone testing, and EEG of my heart (and I have no problems with any of these now, but just these tests are enough to assure that I DO have one), and then monitoring me so that means even MORE visits to the vet! Oh, joy, oh, joy!

Okay, that’s it for today. I’m so depressed, I think I’ll go eat a sardine or something, have a clump of catnip and then sleep it off. Mom’s on her way back to the office and we sure don’t want her to know that I type or else she’ll want to test for carpal tunnel syndrome!

On Little Cat's Feet??

Feline Metaphors Notwithstanding by Bridget Collins
Published in CATS Magazine, January 1993



The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Carl Sandburg, Chicago Poems (1916) “Fog” US Biographer and Poet (1978-1967)

I could not resist this story. Anyone with felines will definitely know what Ms. Collins is talking about in this story:

***Carl Sandburg wrote about a fog that crept into a city on “little cat’s feet.” If that fog had crept in on my cats’ feet, a panicked populace would have fled their beds, screaming, “Earthquake! Armageddon! The end has come!”

My cats do not creep or slither. They do not glide noiselessly or steal furtively. My cats gallop. Sometimes, they clomp. No brave, clever mouse need ever gird his courage to bell my cats. It would be wasted valor. The ringing of the bell would be lost to the thrum-thrum-thrum of the vibrating floorboards. In my house, “cat-like” and “elephantine” are synonyms.

Are you imaging that these two cats must be huge, lumbering beasts? If so, you are half right. They do lumber, but they are definitely not huge. Seeing them at rest, you might even describe them as slight.

Their mother was a dainty Siamese. Their father was an unknown, errant tom, whom I suspect carried either a Clydesdale gene or a primordial allele hailing back to the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

They were kittens when I named them. I never expected that the years would prove me a sardonic poet. I called the female Isadora, after renowned danseuse Isadora Duncan, because she was lithe and loved to frolic. The irony is that, if a dancer were to move with my Isadora’s grace, critics would applaud her mastery of slapstick and mourn with her the passing of vaudeville.

The male, who is coal black and all but invisible in the night, I named Shadow. In a darkened room, he is undetectable, unless of course, he moves. A cat burglary with Shadow’s talent for stealth would be well-advised to cultivate a palate for prison food.

When my cats walk across a table, the dishes quake. When they jump from a bookshelf, they land with a thud. When they run across the living room floor, each footfall is audible from the back bedroom. I have examined their paws, and found there no traces of jackboot or football cleat. They are both house cats, and so do not sport even a respectable callous. I cannot explain how they manage on padded paws to produce sounds one might expect from a shod mule. I suppose it will remain a mystery. For the time being, I will continue to live with the catcophany, and to laugh out loud every time I hear feline metaphors that liken the movement of cats to a silent, sinewy ballet.***

What else is there to say?

Pieper Goes to School

Well, I've finally had it. Enough of waiting for the City to make up their minds whether they want me to stay or not. If I stay, I want to retire in five years and with the economics and the money I'll be getting from my 401K, it's not encouraging.

So, I got this idea from the new Bonanzle affiliate program. Years ago, I dabbled in affiliate marketing, but never had any training. You know, I bought one of those get-rich-quick volumes for $97, learned bits here and there and of course, lost money, and hope.

Yesterday I joined an affiliate university - it's called Wealthy Affiliate University and I am overwhelmed with information at this point, but thrilled with the education provided. If you're interested, you can visit my website at:

http://www.downsizingproofzone.com

And, Pieper says hello...she's been sleeping a lot...missed the visit by her little squirrel friend who came to the window looking for her.